Dear Family, Mums and Dads and People who 💟 US

 Please make sure we are safe from harmful language, opinions and racial bias in our new families. Even though you love us unconditionally, your friends and family might not. Talk to them before you adopt. They might question your choice to bring a black child into the family, make insensitive comments around us or reject us. It is important that you know where you stand with those close to us and if neccessary we need you to protect us from family and friends who cause us intentional or unintentional harm. Even if that means severing family and friendshop ties. Here are some tips for a successful transracial adoption .

Please don't ever tell us you don't see our colour - our skin colour is part of who I we are and by telling us you don't see our colour, you make us invisible. Or maybe even worse, we feel like our colour is something to be ashamed of.  You can find out more about this and other topics from parenting for liberation .

  
Please learn how to look after our hair and skin - you can learn a lot from the internet to start, but try and also learn from black mothers and fathers, who can become our extended family and role models. Here is one of the many black hair-care sites for  you to have a looksee.

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Not ok, right?

 

 Please learn about micro-aggressions, the not so little everyday comments and attitudes we experience in our predominantly white environments, sometimes masked as questions or sometimes even compliments ("where did you learn to speak so well", "can I touch your hair"). Support us by modeling words and actions  ☂. Here is some useful information on microaggressions.

Choose our schools and friends so we are not always the only black children. Check our school work for hidden bias and always, always believe us when we tell  you about racist stuff that happens to us. Have a conversation with our white teachers about teaching while white. 💗

Find friends amongst people who look like us. Learn as much as you can about the language and culture of our birth families. If possible let us have a relationship with our birth families and let us learn their language together.

   Lastly for today: we are all individuals and not the same. Some of us might want to connect with their birth families and cultures, others might not - or not yet. We might want know about and meet people from different cultures and find that we identify with more than one culture. Please don't be upset if we choose to talk to people other than you about these issues. It is important that we find our own way. 

.....to be continued.....

With 💟

  Always